No, You’re NOT Crazy, This Is Being Human

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You’re high vibe. You’re so high vibe because the sun stayed out of your eyes while you drove to and from work today. You’re high vibin’ because it was a quick and easy process to style your hair and make-up this morning before you hit the pedal to the metal.

You’re so high vibe as you sip your coffee/latte as it tastes as smooth as silk to your tongue because it was perfectly crafted on this day. You’re high as fuck because most of your day has been pretty easy breezy, for the most part (minus that annoying coworker who can’t seem to get on the ball- again).

You’re high vibe and life is just going easy as pie.

Then the next day comes.

The alarm went off too soon. The cat won’t stop banging on the blinds while you try to sleep for another 16 minutes. You glance at the clock and you have 23 minutes until you have to be out the door. The barista spills your latte, tack on another 5 minutes to the rush…

The phone won’t stop ringing and the emails keep coming while you try to seek peace at your desk. One after another. The inbox is filling up again.

You sneak out off to lunch, yet a coworker stops you wanting to ask you something when you are 8 feet from the door.

You are gasping for air.

Then you realize this week is “payday” week and you think, “at least I have a silver lining to look forward to in a few days.”

The remaining few days feel like the movie, “Groundhog Day”. Over and over, the same feelings of suffocation and anxiety start seeping more and more into your mindset. You are still spending each day doing your Mastering Your Mindset journaling, you still listen to your motivational speakers each morning, you still state your affirmations over and over again. Why won’t this headache go away? Why is my sister calling me and complaining all of the time? She never listens to me…why are the kids STILL making a mess in the kitchen despite the fact that I have told them repeatedly OVER AND OVER again to “clean up when you are finished.” I need to make a sign to stick on the fridge to remind them…oh shoot, I meant to stop at Walgreens on the way home today to pick up my prescription! GREAT.

Payday comes and you breathe a sigh of relief: finally! You pay all of the bills for the month…WHAT!?? $50 left until next month’s pay????

Panic sets in, the anxiety is overwhelming. Why doesn’t this affirmation shit work for ME? Why am I ALWAYS stuck in life? Why am I ALWAYS FUCKING BROKE!? This will never get better for me, I’m always going to be feeling this way, nothing ever goes right for me. Why is everyone else always sailing along on the journey of life more easily than I am? Why can’t it happen for me, too? What is wrong with me? Something must be wrong with me…why can’t I just seem to GET IT like others do when it comes to manifesting my wants and life goals?

I give up. Fuck it. I don’t give a shit any longer. Law of attraction is bullshit. Life sucks.

Does this AT ALL sound familiar to you?

There’s a fork in the road, what do you CHOOSE to think going forward? How do you CHOOSE to feel going forward? What do you CHOOSE to do going forward? And what is your relationship and connection to all of this with regards to your spirituality?

You get to choose.

And yeah,

Carpe Diem!

Journal Girl Jaclyn

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