This morning I came across a sponsored (advertisement) post on Instagram from a New York Times best-selling author. I wondered why I was still being “targeted” by their ad campaigns because I’m not their ideal book-reader demographic. They have a massive best-selling book that was published in (I think) 2018. They live in Texas (like me), but I think they are more religious than spiritual. ? Not sure.
Regardless, I don’t follow them on social media, I’ve never bought their book, and I think I watched 2 videos of this person with their spouse in 2018 (which led me to realize I’m not their ideal demographic).
This morning, curiosity killed the cat, as they say…
I opened their Instagram profile and “snooped” through the comments section of their posts. I had no idea they were doing workshops centering around having a good marriage, etc. And I just learned this morning that a couple of months ago their marriage has fallen apart.
This person, who is now a millionaire and a New York Times best-selling author (something I dream of with my own books!), has quite a bit of negative backlash from book-readers and customers stating they feel like this person is a “scam” and “scammer”.
My “alert!” antenna went up and my brain immediately conjured my subconscious fears that have been at play for a few months now.
Facing Public’s Opinions of You and of Your Work
I’m scared. To be honest, I’ve been feeling scared for a few months now. Maybe it’s partly due to COVID-19, not sure. I know it’s due to the expectations I put upon myself to “do better”, 4 business hiccups I’ve encountered this year in 2020, and the fear of negative public response of my work as I keep going and growing.
It’s so easy to want to “shrink” back into my shell, especially because I AM an introvert.
During my ManiFASTing journaling this morning I asked myself to weigh each answer with a percentage, 0% being the lowest of importance and 100% being the highest of importance and explains WHY, to the following questions. Here is what I came up with:
||Does shrinking back into my “shell” make me feel good about my soul’s purpose-work (what gets me out of bed each day that fills me with passion)?
5% yes and 95% no. It’s safe and comfy, overall feeling safe feels boring and stagnant.
||Does shrinking back into my “shell” make me feel better about my self-growth?
0% yes, 100% no. I want to continue growing because I love who I have become so far. It’s not easy 100% of the time, but the growth is what got me where I am today and I feel good about it.
||Does shrinking back into my “shell” make me feel fulfilled as a human being, as a soul?
100% no, 0% yes. I want to feel fulfilled in everything I do and accomplish. I want my legacy when I leave this world to be that I helped others fulfill their own dreams and desires in everything they do and accomplish in their lives, too.