Setting Boundaries Is Healthy, No Matter Who You Upset (A Rant)

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Hey Sensational Soul!

If you’re anything like me, you don’t like to upset others. In fact, harmony is more important to you than ruffling other people’s feathers.

However…

You wake up sometimes and you think to yourself, “I’m ALWAYS giving in some shape or form and people just keep taking from me! I’m so exhausted of this and I’m ready to just hide from the entire world!”

I felt this way for years, and I do mean YEARS. Then I decided I needed to examine WHY I was allowing others to take advantage of me, take me for granted, and just keep taking from me altogether.

And this is what I’ve learned:

▪ Pleasing everyone around you is NOT going to make them happy. In fact, it makes them even more greedy in their need to be supplied with whatever it is they want from you. You give them an inch and they want a mile. You give them a mile and they want 100 miles. It’s a cyclical form of self-sabotage that leads you FURTHER AWAY from your own self-love. Sure, I know, you are going to make up an excuse such as, “But so and so needs me to do this…” Whatever, you don’t love yourself and it shows.
▪ Putting others before yourself is actually going to make things WORSE for you and for others. But how? It’s because you set unrealistic expectations towards others when you put them before yourself. And this leads to lack of respect that you so crave from others BECAUSE they know they can turn to you at ANY point in time, for ANYthing. You’re now the “welcome” mat you didn’t realize you have become until it got all muddy and peed on from dogs passing by while on their walk.
▪ Being the person who “saves the day” for everyone else drains your energy and makes you a cranky soul no one wants to be around- and then you end up feeling lonely because no one wants to be around you because you’re so damn cranky! Yep.

Newsflash, you ARE human. You are NOT a robot, you are not Iron Man, and you are NOT Superman or Batman either. I hate to disappoint you…I would choose Batman; but this is beside the point.

If you are agreeing to a lot of requests by others, you are draining your energy reserve. And when you drain your energy reserve, you don’t have much energy left to take care of yourself. And when you don’t take care of yourself, you get cranky because “the vampires”, as I like to call them, keep wanting to suck your blood/energy from you. Not ALL vampires are as enjoyable to be around as Count Dracula on Sesame Street…

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I’ve been there. I’ve most definitely been there. And I needed a HUGE wake-up call

Most people don’t realize their 1 or 2 requests are being multiplied by 30 or more people/situations on a daily basis. So, of course, they don’t realize that you are smiling and nodding “yes” when inside you are wishing and praying, “If only I could manifest a 20-minute nap” each day. This brings me to this question:

Are you getting enough sleep at night? Probably not. I’m in the same boat, sometimes.

So, what can you do to turn this all around?

▪ Before you RESPOND to an email, to someone in person, or to them over the phone, tell them you will get back to them soon because you need to check your schedule. And then really think about it asking yourself, “Do I REALLY want to do this for this person? Or, am I just wanting to say ‘yes’ so that way I don’t upset them?”
▪ Understand that no matter how much you please others, you are NEVER going to be able to make EVERYONE happy. I mean, just last night I blocked some negative asshole on social media because he decided to drink the negative Kool-Aid and was spamming my social media page with rude comments and gestures.

So, I put my foot down on social media (along with a cheeky and funny photo quote) warning everyone that I WILL block their ass if they come onto my page and spam my page with rudeness and negativity (I don’t do that to their pages). Well, one person (not the person I blocked) actually blocked ME after leaving a response stating they didn’t like my “temper tantrum”.

Cue…what’s the phrase? Oh, “Byyyyeeee, Felicia!”

Listen, I don’t care who you are, if you’re going to be rude TO me, I’m just going to block you because “ain’t nobody got time for that.”

Why try to please people who cannot understand that it’s actually a GOOD THING to have healthy boundaries in life? Yes, I am here to help people, we all have our gifts we share with the world; but this doesn’t mean I should stand for bullying. HELL NO!

You can’t please everyone, and you really shouldn’t WANT to please everyone, anyway. Own yourself, you are a total badass at life and you DO deserve the self-respect you maintain FOR your own soul. Which brings me to my next point…

▪ You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you are spending most of your time each day tending to others’ needs, you won’t have any time for yourself and to refuel your OWN energy. And after a while this leads to a train-wreck (i.e.- you, wall, you hit wall, you fall down).

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What to do instead?

PACE YOURSELF. Utilize a calendar on your phone and space out each task, each day. For example, I perform my Mastering Your Mindset journaling each day and I allot myself at least 5-10 minutes each day to do it. And then I allow myself 30 minutes or so to respond to emails/messages, an hour and a half for blogging, etc. (space it all out).

Also, when you pace yourself and spread things out on your calendar, you are not only more likely to STICK to completing them; but you are also more confident in replying to a request to help set the necessary healthy boundary in place, “Let me check my schedule and I will get with you soon!”

And then you look at your calendar and buy yourself some time to figure out:

1) do I really want to do this? Or, am I just saying “yes” because I don’t want to upset others?

And

2) where can I fit this in my day and on what day (BECAUSE I really want to do this)?

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Before last year I had NO CLUE what it meant to have healthy boundaries in place for myself. And then I woke up after feeling completely drained and just plain irritable. Not to mention that I had a health scare and was ordered “to rest” for a week. I’m happy to say my blood pressure is in good condition, thanks TO setting healthy boundaries. BONUS! I lost 21 lbs. when I took back my OWN power and put my self-love and care FIRST. No gym required.

When you live by your own healthy boundaries you put into place, you start to feel calmer, happier, more at ease, in flow, and in alignment. And then everything you want to manifest comes more rapidly BECAUSE you are emitting calmer, happier, more at ease, in flow, and in alignment vibes into the Universe stating, “more of these types of blessings, please!”

I strongly urge you to re-evaluate your thought and behavioral patterns if you are feeling overworked, overstretched, and completely drained of your energy.

And for your Mastering Your Mindset journaling, ask yourself the following and journal out your answer at least 5 times:

▪ WHY am I constantly feeling stressed/tired/anxious/nervous/etc.?
▪ WHAT could I be thinking/feeling and doing INSTEAD in order to fulfill my self needs and self-love?

It’s time to get more in touch with your soul’s wants and needs, Baby!

Until next time…

Change Your Mindset & You Change Your Life,

Journal Girl Jaclyn

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This Is What You Do When Others Bully You

 

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Hey Sensational Soul!

I am officially back from an AMAZING week-long vacation with my sweet chemist! I came back to a 1-star review for “Don’t Feel Stuck!” on Amazon. I was shocked at first to be honest. I read the review from the individual who left her full name on the review. The review stated, “cancelled order”.

Confused, I contacted Amazon to try and resolve it as soon as I saw the review. Every once in a while someone reaches out to me and tells me they bought my book, but for some reason Amazon cancelled their order. After talking to Amazon to try and sort it out, I searched for this individual on Facebook to reach out to her and ask her what happened and if she would like help to fulfill her order. I contacted about 6 or 7 people with her name and received 1 response.

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Overnight she messaged me back and was quite rude towards me. She denied it was her; nonetheless, she felt violated that I reached out to her. I decided to mark out her identity and made a post on Facebook because:

– To show my audience and clients that no matter what you do, even if you are trying to resolve a hiccup that is not your fault, people are still going to behave the way they want to behave towards you.

– To show that even if the hiccup was out of my direct hands, I want to resolve the issue and make it right because I want my customer to be happy.

– To show that it’s NOT OKAY to bully other people AT ALL, regardless of the situation. Her profile page actually says at the top, “I love TO love, I love to BE loved and I love to be IN love.” I am befuddled even more so now…

Mistakes happen everywhere and in everything. This is part of life. I learned a big lesson in this because while she feels I am a “want to be professional author” and feels violated that I tried to help resolve the situation in a private manner, this 1-star Amazon review is online for something that has NOTHING to do with the content of my book, and it seems she did not receive her order. Obviously, I want to protect my creations as best as I can, but I really wanted to resolve it so the customer would be happy. And the lesson? Well, the lesson is this:

No matter WHAT you do in your life, no matter HOW you live your life, and even living your life by taking soul-inspired actions, and no matter HOW you treat others, people are still going to be rude to you- even if you are trying to help resolve a challenge with an unhappy customer.

If the 1-star review remains on Amazon, there is nothing I can do about it if Amazon doesn’t take it down (they are currently trying to help me resolve the issue for this customer).

I can be the most perfect person in the world and people will STILL be unhappy with what I’m doing. And I feel it’s incredibly important to be completely transparent and brutally honest while manifesting my life goals and desires. Manifesting is not 100% roses and easy flow 100% of the time. It’s just not this way and if anyone reads this and thinks it’s this way, well it’s just not.

Nonetheless, you are STILL manifesting your life goals and desires into your physical realm based upon what you CHOOSE to focus on OVERALL each day. Yes, I feel it’s important to be transparent and honest about what happened; but, I am not advising that anyone focuses on the “challenging” moments in life. We all have them. After today I am moving on because it ultimately shouldn’t be something to focus on for next 365 days.

Does this mean my book is no good? No. Does this mean I’m not a bad writer? No. Does this mean Manifest It! is not going to continue to grow and thrive as a business of helping souls around the world with their mindset beliefs and law of attraction methods? No. I still get to DECIDE and CHOOSE what I want to give focus to because what you focus on expands and blossoms into your physical realm. This is just a “setback”, not the “be all, end all” of my entire soul’s purpose in this Universe. Do you understand the difference?

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The reason why I’m showing this to you is because EVERYONE gets treated rudely at some time or another. It does not matter who you are on this planet. Does this mean you should stop taking inspired actions and stop working on your mindset beliefs in order to shift them and speed up calling in your manifestations? No. You still KEEP GOING!

Manifesting all of your dreams and life goals is a journey, it’s a process, and it’s not always going to be sunshine and rainbows. Once you can understand this, then it DOES get easier for you because you understand and you KNOW that life is full of ups and downs. It’s not a flick-of-the-switch, BAM, 100-mph from not having your manifestations TO having your manifestations instantly. It’s a journey and it’s a soul-path journey that you learn to balance. It’s the balance of 2 things:

1) Learning to relax, go with the flow, be in alignment and feel happy, and surrender to the outcome (whatever the outcome shall be);

2) And taking soul-inspired HELL YES actions to SHOW the Universe what you are calling into your physical realm.

No matter what you do in your life, no matter what you do in your career, and no matter what you CHOOSE to think, believe, and feel…people are going to be rude to you. Stay the course. Stay true to yourself. Stay true to your soul’s purpose. Pick yourself back up and KEEP GOING. What one person or 1000 people think about you is NOT your truth. Your truth is what you think and how you feel about YOURSELF. So keep going because I know you’ve got this! I totally believe in you!

PS- Change Your Life NOW: Access the Keys to Massive Abundance! Starts THIS Saturday, Nov 3rd, 2018 and it’s a FREE week-long program to give a great, big THANK YOU to everyone who has purchased, read, liked/loved “Don’t Feel Stuck!”, and left a NICE review about it on Amazon! This is my giving back to you now that we are approaching the Thanksgiving holiday. Thank you SO VERY MUCH for all of your support and I cannot wait to get started in the private Facebook group on Saturday to help you in mindset law of attraction method areas that you are currently feeling stuck around.

Here is a breakdown of the program for this next week:

– You are getting non-stop access to me IN the group (think Q&A)

– Audio and video training from me in order for you to untangle those pesky mindset fears and limiting thoughts that keep you feeling stuck in your life

– Access to MY actual journaling so you can see what I journal out each day during my Mastering Your Mindset journaling

– And the tips and secrets that I use to speed up all of my manifestations into my physical realm!

Whether you are calling in more money, your best friend/twin flame/soulmate, your dream career, a healthier body, and/or overall general happiness and peace of mind…get in this group! Everything ties together in this world because it’s ALL energy, so let’s do this! I cannot wait to start this program, I might put up some pre-work in the group TOMORROW NIGHT or FRIDAY NIGHT. See you in the program on Facebook!

And remember…

Change Your Mindset & You Change Your Life,

Journal Girl Jaclyn

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I Got Fat-Shamed & I Don’t Even Care

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It happened while on stage at a live streaming Bruce Springsteen concert. I was online everywhere, I am on YouTube from that concert. It was the best day of my life. And I got fat-shamed and sexualized online by people. But I am STILL showing up because life is too short to care.

My Story

Unleash your soul, unleash your freedom

Journal Girl Jaclyn